he's chasing dreams hitting seams.
she's chasing dreams talking sports.
(Before you start this, Matt and I both very happy people…don’t go freaking out after reading this to my mom or Mrs. Lynn thinking we are just so miserable because we’re FAR from that. I’m just trying to get the point across that anxiety about the future causes unnecessary doubts and set backs and negative energy. And frankly, we’re still learning how to tackle these dreams head on instead of backing away mentally.)
A few days ago before a game, Matt sent me this blog post.
He didn’t say anything about it. He just sent the link, and that was that. I was on my way home from a work trip, and read it a few hours later while he was playing.
Instant tears. If you didn’t click the link (which you should have), I’ll give you the rundown. This blog is a coach that just blogs about different things but mostly the mental side of sports. This one Matt found talks about former minor leaguer, Alex Bregman, (seriously got called up to make his major league debut with Astros yesterday) who during an interview with ESPN was quoted saying he is taking the mental approach of just being where his feet are. He was in Triple A at the time and was basically saying he was only thinking about being there, taking each pitch and not worrying about being called up to the bigs.
Easier said than done, but seriously, what a good line. Be Where Your Feet Are.
I texted Matt during the game, and said that line is genius and applies to what we’re going through both individually and as a couple.
Honestly, I’m at the point in the season where I sort of kind of hate baseball. Not really, but I’m counting down the days until the off season. (But also look forward to listening to Matt’s games each night and feeling so proud and giddy when he makes a good play or gets a hard hit. I know what a roller coaster.) Matt and I say the words miss you at least three times a day. It’s tough. I go on venting sessions about not understanding what else he has to do to be called up or not understanding certain moves that are made.
He gets frustrated. Of course because baseball is a frustrating game and what he does is a frustrating career. He stresses about going 0-for-4 ruining his chances of getting called up. He stresses about having a four game slump causing a 30 point batting average drop to put him out of the conversation to get called up.
When he’s upset, I tell him he has no control over the moves that are made. He can only play his game. Slumps are part of it. He’ll figure it out and be right back doing his thing. I tell him all he can do is put himself in the position. Now, I believe all of those things, truly. But does that make him feel better? Absolutely not. Does it even make me feel better? No.
That doesn’t even begin to talk about what I feel individually.
*Disclaimer: I’ve ALWAYS been an emotional person. Crying is usually my go to in any situation. So, what I’m about to say comes very easily for me because I’m just emotional.*
Ever since I graduated college, I have a mental breakdown at least one a week. And since I’ve started my job in Texas, probably about twice a week. (just ask my mom.) Why these mental breakdowns you ask? THE FUTURE.
I ask myself a lot if what I’m doing with my career right now, today and the next day is pushing me toward my dreams. Is what I’m doing right now, does it matter.
*After a long day or people telling me I suck at my job* *thoughts running through my mind: There is no way I’m making steps in the right direction. There is no way this is going to help me in the long run. All I want to do is work in sports, and at my job today, I didn’t talk/mention/think about sports, this isn’t helping me reach my dreams.* *cue mental breakdown*
Then you have our anxieties as a soon to be MARRIED couple: we know we don’t want to spend another season long distance, but then you have the living arrangement, me getting a job in my field, making enough money to support ourselves, making sure Grainger is happy, AKA ADULTING IS NOT FUN. We finally came to a point where we just said we’ll figure it out. It’ll all work out.
Between Matt and I, there is a ton of anxiety, stress and honestly fear.
Then, he sent me that link with that quote: Be Where Your Feet Are.
I pray every night for peace and guidance. I know our future and plans are in God’s hands, but I struggle with letting go and letting Him in control.
This quote..Be Where Your Feet Are..put it in perspective for me. Who knows if what I’m doing right now will help me in my future career, but it’s a start, and that’s all I was asking for.
Being where my feet are involves living each day the best I can. Being in that moment and not worrying/thinking/putting energy into tomorrow or if this really matters. BECAUSE truth be told if I can make that moment, day, event I really don’t want to cover, the best I can…IT WILL MATTER. I’ve covered and wrote stories about topics I had no clue about, people I would have never met that I cherish our conversations now and covered events/things/people that have allowed me to grow and taught me so much. (Jes, when you’re reading this a month from now, IT MATTERS.)
The featured photo of this post is of my shoes after my first “Battle of the Bay” game last football season…rival between the two schools I cover…think Dresden and Gleason. The game went into six overtimes. The city was pumping the water off the field two hours before the game to make sure the game was played. Those were my shoes and pants in the picture after flagging down the coach and a couple of players for post game interviews on the field. I had so much fun. I wasn’t thinking about how hopefully later down the road I’m covering bigger games, bigger names, bigger teams and laughing about when I covered high school football. I was just being where my feet were.
I’ve seen Matt’s mentality change this season in a positive way. He really does try to just be where his feet are. It gets hard sometimes but making your mind think that way is the beginning.
I know we all have bills to pay, a dog (or kids in most of your cases) to feed, jobs to maintain, spouses to keep happy, dinner to fix, Pokemon to catch (hehe), the list goes on and on. Life is crazy busy. We ALL have anxieties, stress and fear.
But what if we started our days or thought during lunch or thought when we’re having that moment of anxiety…to just be where our feet are. Make today the best day. Make that next job assignment make you deserve employee of the month. Make the next at bat a quality at bat, Matty B, even if you struck out the last two. Don’t think about what you’re going to have for dinner tomorrow before you have dinner today.
Besides if you’re growing, learning, adapting, becoming the best version of yourself even in the anxiety, stress and fear, you aren’t taking a step back. You’re just being where your feet are.
Matt & Jesica Beaty
Welcome in to dreams and seams! A tell-all blog about our career dreams and path to reaching those dreams with some commentary about sports and life plus some videos too.
"Strive for the impossible because it makes the possible seem effortless." -Matt Beaty