he's chasing dreams hitting seams.
she's chasing dreams talking sports.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved myself. I knew exactly who I was and who I was striving to be each day.
I was Jesica the sports reporter in the making. Then I was Jesica the newspaper reporter.
I loved being Jesica the newspaper reporter. And I really loved Jesica the sports reporter when I was covering sporting events. I have so much fun being Jesica the sports reporter. But I was not/am not fulfilled. (Obviously since it was *somewhat* easy for me to quit to travel with Matt.)
Since I’ve been traveling with Matt and attending 85% (aka basically every single day) of his games so far this season, I have thought about my identity now being Jesica the baseball wife/Jesica Matt Beaty the baseball player’s wife. And as much as I love being Jesica the baseball wife and as much fun as I have being Matt Beaty the baseball player’s wife, I am not fulfilled with that as my identity either.
I got to thinking “Man, I got my first job as a reporter, I’ve talked with and met a lot of cool people through my blog, I’ve made connections in Tulsa, I’m getting to be with Matt every day and watch him play every day BUT I’m still not fulfilled. What is wrong with me…”
I began reading She Reads Truth, which I got at a baseball wives luncheon during Spring Training. Raechel Myers and Amanda Bible Williams basically exchange life stories. They both talk about different identity changes throughout stages in life…middle school, high school, college, adult life, and on and on. Both stories come back full circle to talking about Identity IN CHRIST.
That’s when it hit me like running into a brick wall. My identity is NOT in jobs, being a wife, being a dog mom or anything else that is in my personal life. My identity is in Christ.
I get to enjoy being a part of Matt’s journey to chase this baseball dream. I get to love sports. I get to experience and love being a sports reporter. I get to blog and share with you guys what the baseball life is really like. I get to be Grainger’s dog mom. I get to love myself in all my strengths and weaknesses. I get to be my authentic self because of Christ. Because He made me the way I am, and He has the perfect plan for me. That’s why my identity is in Him and only Him.
All the changes that have happened in the past six months (and expericencing all the unknowns in the baseball life everyday) helped me realize what my true identity is and always will be.
I’m not always going to be a sports reporter. I’m not always going to be a baseball wife. There are going to be so many changes in our lives and paths we've chosen, which is why I can’t put my identity in whatever is happening in my personal life. Christ and His plan for me are never going to change and that is the exact reason I can put my identity in Him.
I was never truly fulfilled because the titles I was putting my identity in will never be fulfilling because they will always change or are not good enough. But I can be fulfilled knowing whatever changes happen in our lives Christ has a plan. Christ is always good enough.
I’m not meaning to preach and get on my soapbox. But if you’re not completely fulfilled with your identity, maybe you’re focusing in the wrong places...just like I was. Focus on Who has blessed you, being yourself and doing the right things, and everything else will fall right into place.
Don’t be afraid of changes because they might slap you in the face…in all the right ways.
(PS: Be what I like to call a "life sponge." Read books, listen to podcasts, try new things, get to know strangers...you never know what you'll learn.)
Matt & Jesica Beaty
Welcome in to dreams and seams! A tell-all blog about our career dreams and path to reaching those dreams with some commentary about sports and life plus some videos too.
"Strive for the impossible because it makes the possible seem effortless." -Matt Beaty